I am a Solo Spouse. Not a Widow.

by | Jul 23, 2020 | Blog | 1 comment

When you find yourself the living half of “until death do us part,” the last thing you want to think of yourself as… is a widow.  The connotation is so archaic, bleak and dreary.  I understand that initially your feelings surely impersonate those adjectives, but as you emerge, light is welcomed back in, and they no longer apply as a lifelong moniker.

I am certain many of you, like myself, believe in the art of living despite your face off with death. A change in tone is needed. The label needs to evolve…and become modern. 

The Label Needs to Evolve

Logically, it makes sense to feel more connected to a term that, by association, aligns more with your persona and feels optimistic.  I have become very fascinated by that concept. How do I want others to identify with and or perceive me?  We all know that perception is plainly reality in disguise.   Why not create my own novel identity?  I am allowed….

“After noodling through too many terms to share, Solo Spouse, seemed to capture what I wanted to emanate! “

It is concise, accurate, and in my opinion, has a unique power.  The inner (solo) strength is exclusively yours and can move mountains if you let it rise to the top.  Strangely, I also felt like I was still in a relationship (with my spouse), but with a silent partner. In a way, it had become my responsibility to be and remain his voice in our household.  One way to uphold that element was to reimagine my new role.  Solo Spouse it is!

Allow me to familiarize you, with the actual meaning, that was so expressively crafted by one of my dearest friends, Catherine Mosley:

 

A More Constructive Label

Solo Spouse is a modern term to redefine one who is on a solitary and often overwhelming path after the significant loss of a life partner.  A partnership is reduced to a solitary mission to pick up the pieces and forge ahead.  You are now solely responsible for everything that two people took care of before, and this often includes a combination of major roles such as parenting, household management, and working outside of the home, to name a few. 

But this new identity can be made easier through seeking community and learning from others who are experiencing similar changes and challenges. Solo Spouses can find strength and examples from others in similar positions and from vetted professionals they can trust in this new normal.

Say it With Gusto

With consistent and positive reinforcement, we can and will begin to draw attention to this newly christened superpower.  If it is characterized as a robust attribute or force, you instantly become empowered, and the universe will respond accordingly.  First step is to say it with gusto….

I am a Solo Spouse!

Let’s begin the revolution…its time….

Solo Spouses unite!

 

1 Comment

  1. Anonymous

    Finally, so refreshing to think about widowhood in a more positive way. Thank you!

    Reply

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